


Aeternum vale

by Almost_Star_Struck



Series: Serva me, servabo te. [4]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Age Difference, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Gen, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Post-Canon, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4473680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Almost_Star_Struck/pseuds/Almost_Star_Struck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both never expected him to go first. This wasn't supposed to be how it ended.</p><p>Not Betaed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Seen a few fics where Bull dies and Dorian is left with the aftermath. Wanted to write the reverse of that.
> 
> PS: Need a beta. Anyone willing to help me? :(

The first few days after Dorian died had been a complete blur. He came out of it only after he had turned every tree within a mile radius into kindling, his axe little more than a dulled pick and his arms shaking. He couldn't lift himself out of the spring mud it hurt so bad. His knee completely locked up and when he finally came to the grief hit him like a storm wave against a dreadnought's bow. For a time, he allowed himself to slip under the water. 

_"I just want to know you will be ok, Dorian."_

_"I was thinking of heading to Weisshaupt. Go back to fighting demons and darkspawn until I don't miss you anymore...Because I will miss you, Amatus."_

When they had that talk nearly a decade prior, he had already lost most of his eyesight. Instead of seeing Dorian smile, he had felt over his face, tracing the graceful lines and dimples as the younger man laughed, his voice deep and rumbling with mirth. Bull did his best to touch and taste. He had taken the weight of Dorian's body on top of him, around him, inside of him. It wasn't the same, but it had been enough. Now he wished he had been able to see him...one last time. 

The Qun taught him that bodies were not people. Once someone was dead, the carcass left behind was no longer them. Mourning over a corpse was foolish. 

He did it anyway. The Bull had laid his head on Dorian's cold chest and sobbed until the tears refused to come. He was down to sniffling when he felt a gentle hand on the small of his back.

 _"Wrong **wrong.**  Why is he cold? He  **hates**  being cold. Let me make him warm again. Why can't I make him warm again?"  _Cole had whispered to his thoughts back to him, crouched above him on the headstone he had painstakingly carved the day before. He wanted the damn grave to be beautiful at least. Dorian wouldn't settle for less. 

"He waits for you in the Fade, The Iron Bull," Cole told him. The Spirit moved his hand to Bull's shoulder and give a gentle squeeze. The Qunari slowly stood back up and leaned on the shovel, still covered in dirt and grass. "He misses you too."

"Never thought I'd want to go back to the Fade," the Bull said in a low voice. The worst part was he couldn't tell whether or not he was being serious or not. The Spirit fell silent, offering no more insight or thoughts into the matter. He disappeared soon after the Bull had finished patting the earth over the grave flat.

That night he woke, imagining the mage was next to him in bed. The Bull rolled over into an empty space, reaching out his hand, grasping nothing but air. 

The scent of jasmine and vellum lingered on the sheets for weeks.

* * *

 "Chief, have you slept at all?" Krem asked as he limped up from behind him. He'd been torn into by some wyvern a couple of years back and the leg never really healed. Least they matched now. The Bull shook his head slowly, blind eye staring out at the lake. The Vint frowned, "Chief..." he sighed and stepped forward, placing his gnarled hand on the larger man's broad shoulder. "Let's get you going. Rocky made breakfast." 

The Qunari shrugged, closing his remaining eye, "Not feeling up to it." He let his hands hang limp, leaning forward on his thighs as the sun gently warmed his back. It was getting close to summer and the breeze was pleasant.

The day had no right to be so damn nice when he felt so _empty._

Krem shook his head, a few strands of gray hair falling in front of his eyes, "I'm not leaving you here to mope. Come on." He knelt and lifted up under Bull's arm, forcing him to stand. "We're here for you. Always." He smiled softly as they stumbled through the soft dirt back toward the farm. "Horns up." 

"Horns up," Bull repeated, the phrase feeling a bit hollow. Krem didn't offer any further comment and they continued on. 

When they reached the cabin, Rocky and Grim were waiting. They had arrived not too long after he sent out missives to them. He needed help getting rid of the farm and the life he had here with Dorian. Not like he could run the place by himself at nearly 80 winters behind him. That and there were just too many memories tied here. He couldn't lay in that bed where he and Dorian had spent so many nights talking, reading, kissing, fucking and just...sleeping in each others' arms.

He allowed Krem to sit him down with the others, sinking onto one of the logs they'd chopped to serve as a makeshift bench. He felt the pinch of his knee as he settled and he rubbed his remaining fingers over the patella. He should have grabbed his cane, but that morning he had risen like a man possessed before making his way to the grave-site. It had been a year today since he had last kissed Dorian, had held his hands as the mage told him it was going to be ok. 

 _" **Venhedis,** Amatus,"_ Dorian had told him, the skin of his palm clammy as he touched Bull's cheek. His wrist felt so thin beneath his fingers. _"Just go to sleep. How can you expect me to rest with you pacing about the bed?"_  Dorian lifted the covers with a shaking arm and the Bull crawled in next to him, his arms going around Dorian's shoulders. The mage snuggled into his chest until his nose poked his clavicle. After an hour of them listening to each other breathe and Bull's steady heartbeat, they both fell asleep.

Dorian never woke up. 

The Bull was pulled from his memories by a tap on the shoulder. "Here, you'll need it today." Rocky passed Bull a plate of eggs. He took it and scooped some of the yellow goop with a piece of slightly stale bread. He ate, but his stomach twisted with each swallow. He could feel Krem's eyes on him, but he didn't speak. He was too damn tired. 

* * *

It took some time, but eventually Iron Bull finished his breakfast and began to pack. Today he would leave behind the home that he had built. The animals had already been sold as well as most of the furniture. He kept Dorian's favorite books and the rest were boxed and shipped to the nearby Circle. He couldn't take everything and Dorian would rather his things go to teaching the next generation. As he adjusted his bag over his scarred should, Bull touched the dragon tooth at his sternum. 

He had buried Dorian with his stave, wearing his armor, his own necklace, and wedding band. He died fighting illness so he gave him a warrior's burial.

_"No matter how far apart life takes us, we're always together." Dorian recited quietly as he presented the necklace to the Bull. He looked a bit nervous, as if he expected to get rejected or told off for his sentimentality. Instead, the Bull scooped him up into his arms and kissed the mage silly, limbs flailing as the teeth fell to the tangled sheet between them. Dorian laughed as they broke apart, his hands winding around the Bull's shoulders. "Good then?"_

_Bull nodded, his heart beating so very fast in his chest."Yes. Better than that." He traced the younger man's jawline and gently tilted his chin up. Giving Dorian a sultry look, he murmured, "Just so you know, big guy, there's no way in hell that you're leaving bed today."_

_"Mmmm, I wasn't planning on it," Dorian purred, leaning down and trailing kisses over the Qunari's collarbone._

"Ready to go?" 

Bull turned, hearing the door behind him creak open. He nodded and started toward the door, using the cane that Dorian had commissioned for him after his limp became more pronounced. He needed it almost every day now. Whether it was the cold or just sudden onset of chronic pain, he didn't know. "We heading to the coast?" he asked Krem as they closed the door behind him. The slight click made him wince and his throat grew tight.

"Yeah, figure it's a good place as any to start." Krem wrapped an arm over his back and Bull wanted nothing more than to lean into the comforting touch. Instead he just grunted and let the smaller man lead him. He didn't need to think for a while anyway.

 

 

 


	2. Put out the Flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a depressive episode today. I put everything into writing so...here's something at least.
> 
> I know it feels rushed. I didn't have a beta.

"The first time I saw one of those it was fighting a giant," the Bull murmured, hearing the beat of the Vinsomer's powerful wings as it flew over the islands in the distance. It gave an ear-shattering roar and the men shivered as the sound echoed louder than the crashing waves below.

"A giant?" Rocky asked with a raised brow.

"Yup...it was pretty badass." Bull heard Krem chuckle and he smiled softly. The smiles came slower, but they were there at least. “Adaar and Dorian had to pull me back. I was ready to go join them.” He had barely known Dorian then. The man was a Vint with crazy Time Magic and no love for Qunari, no matter how grateful he had been to Adaar. Their first mission together had been a bit of a distaster with Dorian’s staff getting snapped in two by an unexpected Behemoth. It would have split the mage in two as well had he not thought to put a barrier up in time.

If that had happened. If Dorian had died that day, then he would never have known how amazingly kind and gentle he really was under his sharp burning exterior. But then again, maybe he would not be feeling so broken. Dorian would have been another Vint that he watched drown in his own blood. Nothing more.

"So…wanna fight the dragon?” Krem suggested, breaking the awkward silence that had settled over them.

Bull thought for a moment as he shifted his stance. His knee was acting up worse than ever. He blamed the damn wind. "I'm an old fart with a fucked up leg and no eyes."

"So? We're all old farts at this point,” Rocky grumbled, pulling at his wispy beard.

They fell silent once more as they started down the coastline, pebbles crunching beneath their feet.

"Chief?"

He sighed and turned his head to face Krem. He could only imagine how he looked to the human right now. He wasn't exactly strong physically anymore and no one had seen him like this. No one still alive had anyway. Krem paused for a moment before finally saying, "It's not the end. Remember that." 

Knowing and believing were two different concepts. Now that he was no longer under the Qun, the Bull understood that distinction. "I know," he said. "It's just going to take some time before it doesn't feel so...fresh." He fiddled with the silverite wedding ring that Dorian had slipped onto his hand over twenty years ago. "We had a good long run."

Krem didn't seem convinced he was fine. Not a difficult deduction. "It's not enough. He wasn’t in bad shape and he was young." 

Bull shrugged, pulling away from the band. "Eh, not young, but not old like me."

"You wanted to go first, didn't you?" Grim said, finally speaking. Everyone turned to stare at him as if he had just uttered a major offense. Bull preferred the bluntness.

"I expected to," the Qunari said plainly. "We both did. Made some plans for him in case I went earlier than expected." He tilted his head to the sun that was peeking through the thick clouds, feeling the warmth spread over his face. "We never planned what _I_ would do and so I feel...lost."

Krem touched his shoulder in what was meant to comfort, but only felt draining. They walked for another few hours before making camp by the cave that 40 some-odd years ago housed Red Templars.  

* * *

That evening, Bull did not sleep. His boys were passed out, snoring gently on their bedrolls by the fire as half a dozen dead spiders lay around them. The cave hadn't been as empty as they had thought. Nothing too serious though. Even at this age they could take on a few stupid spiders.

He heaved a sigh and stood slowly, using his hands to brush the walls, finding the entrance to the cave. The clouds had cleared, leaving the half moon to light the night sky. It made the gentle waves glow in a way that the Bull couldn’t see but could feel. He walked to the shore, letting the cold water submerge his toes. When he had first came to the South, he was glad for the cold. He didn't miss the humid jungles of Seheron and he'd much prefer to warm up by a fire than strip sweaty clothes off every evening. 

Iron Bull another step and then another, going deeper and deeper until it reached his neck. He was shivering as he tilted his chin up to stare blindly at the moon. Slowly, he let himself sink beneath the rolling sea.

When he opened his eyes, he was back on shore, wet but alive. He gasped as hands pressed down on his ribs, making him choke on water. Without thinking, he rolled to his side and spit out the water onto the damp rocks. He took a few calming breaths, hands clenched around a few stray pebbles as his heart pounded in his chest.

“You’re hurting yourself, the Iron Bull.”

Bull groaned and lifted his head. “Cole…” he muttered, reaching out and touching the Spirit’s face. Cole frowned under his fingers.

“The silence burns worse than any flame. It is venom that coarses through the heart and bleeds out into the sand.” The Spirit exhaled. “The Iron Bull…how can I heal the hurt? I don’t know how to help you.”

Bull shook his head and sat up gingerly. He felt so sore and so light-headed. How long had he been under water before Cole dragged him out? “Nothing short of having him back…holding him, speaking with him…if my damn eyes weren’t gone I’d want to see him.” He dropped his gaze and touched his single eye, milky white like paste.

The Spirit took his hand between both of his. “If you could see him and say goodbye…would that make the hurt go away?” Cole asked.

“I don’t know…” Bull said honestly. He touched his chest and Cole let his hands pull away.

"Follow me."

Cole stood and helped Bull to stand. "Kid, what are you talking about? Where are we going?" Cole didn't answer. The Spirit just led him along a river heading East. He remembered this trail. It led to one of the first Rifts they had found along the coast. 

When he could hear the trickle of the waterfall, they stopped, Cole turning around to face him and cupping the sides of his face. "The veil is thinner here where the Rift once was...You can pass through with some help...with my help." 

"And what? Find Dorian?" he said skeptically.

"Maybe," Cole said, leaving the answer rather vague. "I don't know where he is. I don't wish to enter it...but I can open the way for you. You'd have to find him on your own. Follow the trail of his memories." The Spirit bit his lip and the Bull exhaled. He could feel a prickle of magic here. 

"What do I do to get back out?" Bull asked softly. Cole smiled. 

"Just knock. I'll answer the door." He turned away from Bull and the Qunari could only guess at what he was doing. Suddenly he felt a wave of warmth pass over him. His knee hurt less and he felt lighter. "Step forward, the Iron Bull," Cole instructed and he did so.

He could feel the tickle of Veilfire and suddenly he could no longer hear the sound of the waterfall or of Cole's breathing. There was instead a low whistling for many difficult tunes. He concentrated on the sounds and furrowed his brow as one in particular caught his attention. He singled it out from the rest and followed it. 

It was loudest in front of a large wood door. He touched over it, tracing the outline of a serpent. The Tevinter Serpent. 

He inhaled and pushed it open.

* * *

The light was blinding even through his closed eyelid. Wait…blinding? He blinked his eye and let it adjust to the room. A lavish garden surrounded him, looking over a sprawling city that lead to a black sand beach. Peacocks pecked around the grass below the balcony nosily as the ocean rolled against the cliff behind the mansion, tide rising with the sun.

A familiar figure was seated on the edge of the white stone railing rather than the plush velvet couches that lined the wall. The man was younger, the spitting image of the spoiled Vint he had first seen in Redcliffe all those years ago. Ringed fingers plucked a glass of wine from the stone and brought it to his lips as his other hand turned the pages of an open book lazily.

Was this...did he really find him? 

“Dorian?” Bull asked. The mage turned around, his light blue robes cutting a sharp figure even as they blew gently in the summer breeze. When their eyes met, Dorian smiled softly and gave a small wink.

“Took you long enough,” he said. The Bull bit his lip and surged forward, scooping him into a tight embrace. Dorian laughed as he nuzzled him, inhaling the smell of jasmine and stroking through the soft tufts of his dark hair.

He felt warm, solid, _real._

“Kadan…” he whimpered, closing his eye. "My heart," he repeated, letting the tears flow freely. "I can see you."

“Of course you can, you lummox.” Dorian teased, tilting his chin up. "Now give us a kiss. I've missed you." Bull happily obliged, practically devouring the other man's mouth in a rush to taste him. He was so sweet from the wine and it was messy, but he didn't care.

When they broke apart, Bull panted, unable to let go of Dorian’s waist. “So…this is what you dreamed up in the Fade?” he gestured around the garden. “Qarinus.”

Dorian nodded and plucked a dragon lily from a pot, wrapping it around one of Bull’s horns with a grin. “Beautiful isn’t it? I never did get to show it to you.”

Bull swallowed, feeling his chest clench a bit at the reminder. “Yeah, a lot we didn’t get to do…” He rubbed over his eye, wiping the remaining tears. “So all of this is just in my head, right? You’re still…you know and I’m still…” he trailed off as Dorian nodded sadly.

“I’m afraid that anything we share here is only as physical as we can make it within our minds.” He kissed between Bull’s horns and said, “Nevertheless, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you, Amatus.” He laced their fingers together and stroked his thumb over the Bull's palm affectionately. The Qunari raised both their hands, kissing the back of Dorian's. 

He looked out over the garden of peacocks and watched as Dorian threw a piece of bread down. The birds quickly tore into it, far more aggressive than he would have thought they'd be with their bright colorful plumage. He couldn't view the rest of the house from here, but what he could see looked exactly the way Dorian had described it over the years. Tall white stonework with blue mosaics of more peacocks encrusted into the walls. Bull stroked down Dorian's bare shoulder, quietly savoring the warmth beneath his fingers. "I'm curious. Why do you look so young here?"

Dorian snorted. "Wouldn't you want to have your last image of me as someone young and beautiful rather than a corpse?" he rolled his eyes, "Bull, it's the Fade. Things are the way that I make them in my memories. They can be as they are in yours as well." He reached over and plucked off the old eye-patch and Bull opened his long lost eye for the first time in decades. "Much better." Dorian threw it away and stroked the scars which smoothed until the silver skin lay completely unblemished. 

"A dream. Got it..." he smiled. "It's a pretty damn good one though. I get to see you again here."

Dorian chuckled. "That's not _all_ you get to do here." He stroked down Bull’s chest and gave a seductive smile. “I've missed you in many ways, you know." That made the Bull laugh. Even as an old man, Dorian was not easily sated. He was not surprised that as a spirit, he was still demanding and wanting. 

Bull lifted him up and laid him down on one of the couches. “You know I aim to please, Kadan." The Qunari shifted so his weight was supported without resting entirely on top of Dorian's hips. "Watchword?” he asked, licking his lips as he stared down at Dorian, admiring the gentle blush to his skin.

Dorian snorted and shook his head. “It’s not _really_ happening, Bull. We don’t need any of that here.” He waved it off as if their practice was little more than a irritating nuisance. 

“It feels real enough to me. Dorian, what’s your watchword?” he insisted, kissing along the mage's jawline. Dorian pulled back, his expression bored. That look made his spine tingle with something other than arousal.

“Really, Bull. You can do what _you_ want. We don’t need it.” He cupped Bull’s cheek and stroked along the stubble. With his free hand, he flicked his wrist and his robes fell open, exposing the beautiful bronze skin of his body. “That’s better.” Dorian took Bull’s hand and pressed it to his groin.

The Qunari pulled back as if his hand had been burned. Dorian scowled. “ _Vishante kaffas!_ Why are you being so stubborn? It’s just a stupid word!” As he shouted, Bull lifted off his hips, standing and staring at him with wide eyes. Dorian huffed and stood as well, his robes abandoned on the couch as he pressed himself to Bull’s side.

“No. I’m not doing this.” Bull said firmly, glaring down at the other man. Dorian's eyes narrowed and he looked thoroughly annoyed. That expression cinched it. “You’re not Dorian,” Iron Bull hissed, shoving the man away from him.

Immediately the garden began to dissolve into fragments of light. The thing with Dorian’s face just smiled, its eyes turning a sinister glowing purple. “But I _could_ be,” he said as the room turned completely black as if they were floating in an empty void. “Here you can have him, the man you love. Perfect and forever.”

Suddenly the room changed to their cabin back by the lake. The thing strode over to the bed he had shared with Dorian for over two decades and laid on top of it seductively. The firelight played over the dark skin in a way that Bull had always liked before, but now it made his stomach turn. “We could stay here where you and I are young and strong forever. No one has to die. You can be happy.”

“I don’t make deals with demons,” he spat. The demon’s eyes narrowed and it was so unsettling the way it wore Dorian’s face.

“I’m willing to make you happy. Give you back what you lost.”

Bull shook his head and touched the walls. How did Cole tell him to exit the Fade? By knocking? _On what?_

He glanced back to the door of the cabin, purposefully avoiding the bed. He couldn’t stare at this thing while it looked like Dorian and spoke with his voice.

Before he could make a run for the door, he felt a hand grab his arm, yanking it behind his back. He turned and watched in horror as Dorian’s face became twisted, the eyes completely solid black now with pointed teeth and a black tongue.

“Oh, you aren’t going anywhere, _Amatus_.”


	3. Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliched and predictable. I know. Just wanted to write it anyway. 
> 
> Once again rushed. If anyone wants to help me go back over this and the previous chapter to figure out where it could use some fattening, I'd appreciate it.

_"Morning, Amatus."_

_Bull groaned and lifted his head from the dewy grass. Dorian was laying on top of him, draped in their wrinkled and now stained wedding robes, looking exhausted with smudged lines of kohl under both eyes, but smiling in the morning sun._

_"The Qunari shielded his eye from the glare and tried to hide under Dorian's shadow. "Fuck, too bright."_

_"That's my line," Dorian said as he stroked over Bull's collarbone, casually admiring the only ring adorning his hand. "Crazy thing last night. I do believe I got married to a **Qunari**. Such an unusual dream," he teased, stroking his ruffled mustache. The Bull smiled and sat up, nuzzling the mage's nose. and cupping both of his shoulders under his large hands._

_"Good thing it's not dream then, huh?" he said, watching as Dorian grinned and kissed him. "But we probably should have actually made it to a bed last night. Wanna get some breakfast?" he jerked his thumb away from the lake and Dorian nodded, lifting off Bull's hips and offering the Qunari his hand. Bull stared at it before taking it, letting Dorian take some of his weight to help him up to stand. Dorian squeezed his fingers and let go, dressing as best he could given the state of their robes._

_Amazing sex by the lake and waking up to this? There were worse ways to spend a wedding night._

* * *

 

Bull found himself tied to the bed, the Desire Demon pacing around him predatorily. "It's unfortunate you are so old and crippled," it said in a low voice, "Your body won't serve as much of a vessel, but it will at least give me time to find something more suitable." It ran it's ringed fingers over his chest, tracing the scars that Seheron had laid on his body. "If only I could have had you in your prime. Now that would be a _glorious_ body." Bull snarled and the Demon just smiled, so much like Dorian and so monstrous. 

"Stop...change your face," Bull hissed, closing his eyes. 

Chuckling, the Demon forced his eyes back open, pressing his opposite hand over the Bull's throat, keeping a firm pressure. "Oh? Seeing your pretty husband's face not what you wanted?" the Demon licked Bull's cheek with that sickening black tongue and he shuddered. "But that's all you wanted. You wanted to see him and now you can. _Forever_." 

"You aren't going to convince me you're him. If you can't tempt me or trick me, you can't possess me!" Bull yelled, pulling at the restraints that only seemed to grow tighter the more he tugged. The Demon frowned and its eyes changed from black to Dorian's soft grey again, the teeth returning to normal. The change was so swift that he barely had time to register it.

"Are you sure about that, Amatus?" it said in Dorian's voice, husky the way he sounded right after sex. "We know you're prone to fits of insanity. Can you really trust what you saw?" It stroked tenderly over Bull's brow. even as the Qunari tried to pull away from its touch. "I'll protect you. Don't fret, Amatus."

The Bull shook his head. "Don't! You're not Dorian. You'll never _be_ Dorian." 

The Demon twirled the dragon tooth necklace and pressed it to Bull's own, a matched set. "No matter how far apart life takes us, we're always together." It said, "Don't you want us to be together, Bull?" When the Qunari shook his head, horns tearing the sheets, the Demon growled and pressed harder into his throat. "You let me die and now you want to leave me again?" His chest ached as the Demon spoke. Guilt and grief swirled in his chest and he could barely breathe with the monster on top of him, making him sink deep into the mattress.

"I tried to save him," he whispered, the words choked as they left his lips. He had stayed up for three nights straight making sure that Dorian didn't choke on his vomit and that his fever was managed. He rocked him gently on the rug and told him stories from when he was _Ashkaari_. Dorian had laughed through the miserable heat and said, _"Too smart for your own good even then?"_ Bull had nodded and kissed him.  _"I would have liked to have seen you then. Little nubby horns."_ He had tried to reach up and touch Bull's horns, but his arm was too weak to reach. Instead, Bull lowered his head, pressing Dorian's hand to the base. 

Bull was pulled from the memory as the Demon straddled him, completely nude. "But you _didn't_ save me. That's why you're here," the Demon purred, grinding against him. "Right, _Amatus?_ "

The thing reached down, forcing him into a kiss. It tasted like ash and he tried to yell, but his screams were swallowed by the monster. 

Suddenly a bright purple light enveloped the entire room, carving a hole in the wall where the fireplace once stood. Bull felt the Demon pull away and he took a deep breath. The beast was distracted. He needed to free himself or he'd be lost forever. A jet of ice shot out from over the Demon's shoulder. Bull felt the chains binding him freeze and he yanked them hard enough for them to shatter into a million crystal shards. Without questioning or hesitating, he kicked the Demon onto the floor and jumped to his feet. He gritted his teeth and dragged the Dawnstone axe where it hung on the wall, bringing it out in front of him. 

"Probably not the best idea to put me in my home, Demon," he spat. The Demon rolled to its knees and stood, it's eyes black again as it growled. It wasn't growling at Bull though. No, there was a strange white figure behind him. Was that what saved him? "You freed him! You should have let me have him. He'd die and you could have what was left!"

The figure behind the demon snorted. "And let you torture him the entire time?" He raised a stave, slamming it into the wooden floor. "The only one deserving of a painful death is you." The Demon snarled and created a bladed stave with a wave of its hand. Bull was not going to give it time to recover. He swung as it turned to face the man, but it was just too slow as the Demon deflected the blow into the floorboards. They crunched under the axe and Bull swore, yanking it out as the Demon raised its weapon to him.

"Don't you lay another hand on him!"

The Demon gasped as the blade of the figure's stave was forced through its chest, piercing its rib cage. For a moment, Bull felt his stomach drop in horror. The thing was still wearing Dorian's face and seeing him in pain had never been easy to watch. The figure twisted the stave before pulling out as the monster wailed in agony, frantically clutching the wound. The man didn't relent though. He merely withdrew his weapon and cut the thing's head clean off. The head fell to the floor with a heavy thud and the body wobbled before following suit. Slowly, it dissipated into purple veilfire, leaving nothing behind.

Looking to the man, Bull gripped the axe, raising it as he shook his head. "Another Demon?" he asked, staring the figure down. He had never gotten to see Dorian this old, his hair completely grey with the goatee grown out a bit more to match his more ruffled mustache. The wrinkles were something he had felt over time and time again, but seeing them was very different. His hands were bony and frail, but his grip on the stave strong. 

Seeing even this...illusion of Dorian made his arms tremble. He lowered the axe as his knees gave out, using the handle to support himself. "No more...please."

A gentle hand touched his shoulder, stroking over the skin. He flinched and the hand withdrew. "I'm not a demon, but not human anymore...I suppose." Dorian leaned down to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry it took me so long to find you. I felt the Fade when it was pulled open, but I wasn't sure who it was." 

He tilted his head up to better look over this strange man. "This isn't real, it's just a dream." As he spoke, Dorian gave him a sad smile.

"I suppose that it is. I can't be with you physically." He gently tugged at the dragon tooth necklace. "But in a way, we are always together. The Fade isn't really so far away, just difficult to get to." He heaved a sigh, "Amatus...it's good to see you again, but you can't be here for much longer. Demons are going to come, looking for any chance to trap you and possess you." He cupped Bull's chin, fingers stroking the underside. This time, Bull didn't pull away from the touch.

Staring up at Dorian, Bull bit his lip. This didn't feel like a trick, but neither had the other one right away. "Prove to me that you're him. Show me something that isn't based on my memories or recreated from past stories." He had to know. He couldn't leave without at least knowing whether or not he'd had Dorian back...even if it was a single moment within a fading dream.

Dorian nodded in understanding, but the disappointment was plain on his face, "When I commissioned the dragon necklaces, I had a carving done on the outside of the tooth. It didn't look as good as I had hoped so I had Dagna cover it with leather." He reached for Bull's hand, an offer to help him up to stand. The Qunari hesitated, but eventually took it, allowing the mage to take some of his weight and pull him back to his feet.

"Go, Amatus. I'll see you soon enough." Dorian gave him one last smile, squeezing his hand as he let him go.

Bull frowned and looked back to the door. If this was a trick, it was a good one.

Within two paces he reached the door and gave it a firm knock, twice just to be sure.

The door opened, a black pit in front of him. The Bull glanced back to Dorian, noting the tear tracks painting the man's cheeks before he stepped out. His vision blinked out and the world went dark again. Behind him the waterfall trickled merrily and he could hear the birds starting to sing in the early morning. Before he could even take a breath, a clammy hand touched his shoulder. "Did you find him, the Iron Bull?" Cole asked, genuinely curious. "There was a lot of noise in there."

The Qunari frowned and removed his necklace, holding the tooth in the palm of one hand. The leather was worn and after so long only held on by only a few studs drilled into the tooth itself. Without thinking he tore it away from the surface, letting it drop to the river at his feet. Taking a breath he turned toward Cole. The Spirit remained silent so he pressed on, touching over the exposed bone.

His heart fluttered and his throat tightened. ** _"_** _Tibi magno cum amor"_ he whispered, tracing the Tevene engraving.  ** _  
_**

"You are crying again, the Iron Bull," Cole pointed out, wiping his eyes with the strip of discarded leather. The Qunari nodded and swallowed thickly.

"Yeah...just...give me a moment, kid." As soon as he finished speaking, the Bull felt the wind pick up and he could no longer feel Cole's presence next to him. Sniffling, he hung the necklace back over his head and started the trek back to camp. 

"We'll meet again, Kadan," he said, keeping his hand pressed over the tooth, feeling over the marks again and again.

* * *

 

A week later and the Fade shifted for a second time. It was _always_ shifting as new people died, Spirits were born, Demons created, etc, but he _felt_ something this time. He was about to go investigate when a set of incredibly large hands cupped his shoulders. Dorian felt himself get lifted up and turned, pulled into a broad and heavily scarred chest.

He glared up at the old Qunari who just grinned, his single eye clear without all of the cataracts. He raised an eyebrow and snorted, seeing the burn marks, fresh and shiny against Bull's skin.

"You fought the dragon didn't you?"

Bull just gave a sheepish smile and shrugged, "It was going to happen at some point. At least this way it was natural...and pretty badass." He touched one of the marks. "I mean, do you _see_ this?"

Dorian just grabbed his horns with both hands and pulled him into a kiss. "It's good to see _you_ , Amatus."


End file.
